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In the Black: Black Star Security Page 9
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“It’s gonna be okay.” Zane clasped her shoulder. “We knew this was gonna happen.”
“Yeah, but seein’ yourself on television is another thing entirely. And by the way, I’m not fooled by this whole person of interest crap either. It means I’m a suspect.”
“I know.” They’d also run pictures of Dave and his dumbass friends.
Ellie put her head in her hands. “Oh God. I’m Harrison Ford.”
“What? How drunk are you?” Ellie wasn’t making any sense whatsoever. He’d never seen her like this. Sad, he could handle. Even scared was fine with him, but there was something bleak about her tonight. As if she’d lost all hope.
“I’m a fugitive.”
I get it. Like the movie.
“Don’t look so worried. This isn’t the ninth innin’ yet. We’re only in the seventh inning stretch.”
“Seriously? Did you just give me a baseball metaphor?”
“Yeah, did you like it?” He wiggled his eyebrows at her, hoping for a laugh.
She scowled instead. “I don’t wanna talk about sports.”
“Okay, then you pick the topic.”
“Fine, I will. And I’m drunk enough to ask you right now. Why wouldn’t you kiss me that night on the beach? I told you how much I liked you, how much I wanted you, and I thought you felt the same.” She pointed at him. “No, I know you felt the same. You were all over me for weeks, flirting with me. Watchin’ me. And then it’s like I flipped a switch.”
“It’s complicated.” He took Bomber from her arms and scratched his head.
Zane didn’t want to discuss this right now. It had fractured their budding friendship, and he was just now getting back into her good graces. Zane didn’t think he could survive losing her again.
Zane had lost too many people in his life. His mother. His sister. And his father.
Don’t think about him. Not now.
Each of those losses had pained him, left a deep scar.
“In case you haven’t noticed, complicated is where I live now. Everythin’ about my situation is complicated. Come on, lay it on me. I can handle it.”
“Well, I can’t. We’ll talk about this later when everything is settled.”
“You mean when I’m in jail? No thanks. We’re gonna talk about it right now.”
“I thought you were really into Nox.”
“No, it was a stupid game to get your attention.” Ellie hiccupped. “Why? Did it work?”
“Yeah, well, you did. You need to leave him alone.” The thought of that prick getting his filthy hands on her, made Zane’s blood boil.
Ellie is mine, dammit. No, not mine. But definitely not Nox’s.
“I’ll consider it. Come on, Zane. I wanna know what happened. Why are you so hot and cold with me? Why can’t you leave me alone? Or take the next step? Because you’re drivin’ me crazy.”
He sighed. Dammit. He hadn’t considered his actions from her perspective. No wonder she was confused by his behavior.
“Can’t we just drop this?”
“No.” Ellie gripped his arm. “Tell me.”
“Ellie…”
“I can’t take it anymore, Zane. I need to know.” Ellie grasped his arm and his heart just about broke.
She was tearful and exhausted. And Ellie deserved the truth from him. This had nothing to do with her.
“I love you.” The words slipped out of his mouth before Zane could hold them back.
“You love me?” Ellie said the words slowly, blinking, almost uncomprehending as if she didn’t trust her own ears.
And the burden of keeping that to himself had been lifted, only to be replaced with a new one.
“Yeah, isn’t it obvious?” He’d done a piss poor job of hiding it.
“Well, here’s a newsflash for you. I felt the same way about you. Back then.”
He winced. Felt. Not feel.
She cleared her throat. “If you hadn’t rejected me, I think we might still be together.”
He did too.
But the people he cared about most tended to abandon him. Both his mother and his sister hadn’t spoken to him in years. And you’d think it would get easier, being left, but it didn’t.
The pain only got sharper, deeper.
Although, Zane knew exactly why they’d left. He was a monster. Zane had done something unforgivable. And chances are, he’d make another horrific mistake. Only this time, he’d hurt Ellie, and he couldn’t live with it.
“Yeah, and it’s a regret of mine.” Although it wasn’t the largest one. “But in another way, I’m glad. You deserve a better man than me.”
“Why don’t you let me be the judge of who I deserve?”
“Ellie, I…” Zane trailed off. He didn’t know what to say or do. “This is hardly the time to discuss it.”
She groaned. “You’re probably right. I’m one of America’s most wanted.”
Ellie took another big swig and then took the bottle.
“Come on, you’ve had enough for one night. Let’s get you upstairs.”
She stood and then swayed. Zane took her by the arm, steadying Ellie but she teetered again. This time, he caught her and swung Ellie up into his arms.
Her eyes were half-mast, and she regarded him drowsily. He wanted to kiss her so badly, it made his bones ache. Everything he’d always wanted was in his arms, in Zane’s grasp.
And he couldn’t take it.
It was torture.
“You hurt me.”
He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I know, and I’m sorry.” Would they ever stop hurting one another?
And then he carried Ellie upstairs and put her to bed.
Chapter 7
Something tickled her chest.
Ellie turned over, ignoring the sensation.
She curled deeper under the covers and slid them over her head. The fabric was soft and warm from her body heat, and she burrowed deeper.
And then Ellie felt something scuttle across her shoulder.
She reached over and yanked the chain on the lamp. Ellie rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand and blurrily tried to see what had awakened her.
Spider.
Big. Fat. Hairy spider.
Sitting on her shoulder. Rubbing its legs together as it decided when to sink its creepy little fangs into her.
With a cry, she knocked it from her shoulder, disgusted to have the insect even touching her. Instead of dropping to the floor, it scuttled into the covers, and she jumped out of bed.
Her skin crawled. Ellie swore she could still feel its spindly little legs dancing over her flesh.
“Eww!” Ellie shivered.
Whenever she caught the bug, Ellie was going to kill it, but first she had to wash away the cooties.
Ellie ran to the bathroom and washed off her bare shoulder, as though she’d been contaminated. She hurriedly checked the shirt for signs of any more spiders but didn’t see any.
She dashed back to the bedroom doorway and glanced at the spider filled blankets once more. She couldn’t sleep in that bed. What if a nest of them lay in wait underneath it? Lurking in the frame where she couldn’t see them?
Or I might be paranoid. Nah.
She went to tug on one of the blankets but stopped midway. What if she pulled too hard and accidentally launched it into the air? And then the bug crawled into a hidey hole somewhere? She needed bright daylight to illuminate every square inch of the room.
Ugh.
Now what? According to the alarm clock, it was only three in the morning.
For a split second, Ellie considered waking Zane up and asking for his assistance.
And then she groaned, remembering the drunken conversation she’d had with him last night. She’d come off all needy and desperate, demanding to know why he’d pulled away from her.
Ellie cringed. Did I really say those things?
Then, out of nowhere, he’d dropped a relationship bomb on her.
He was in love with her. Always had b
een. What the actual fuck?
Zane had a funny way of showing it. Honestly, Ellie had no idea what to do with the revelation. It felt like too little, too late. She'd been there, right in front of him for years and he hadn't made a move.
And what about all his dire warnings about how she deserved someone better. What the hell had he done? She couldn’t imagine Zane doing anything illegal or immoral.
I can’t think about this now.
Right now, she needed sleep most of all.
And then she noticed Nox’s door was ajar. She tiptoed down the hallway. Biting her lower lip, Ellie cautiously peeked inside and found the coast clear. She blew out a sigh of relief. He was probably spending the night with one of his conquests.
Problem solved.
She scooted inside and shut the door behind her. Ellie sat on the mattress experimentally and leaned back.
Okay, not too bad.
She slipped underneath the covers and snuggled down. Better.
Then, she rolled over and something lacy came into contact with her hand.
Fearing what she would find, Ellie turned on the lamp. Ellie tugged on the material, pulling it out from underneath the pillow.
Thong panties. Size twig.
Pink lacy dirty panties that belonged to some other girl. Ewww!
She shook it off and leapt to her feet. This was worse than the spider. Okay, maybe not, but it was a close second.
Holding her polluted fingers out, Ellie made her way to the sink to wash and repeat about a billion times. Yuck. Nox and his chippies. According to King, none of them lasted more than a week, and there was a seemingly endless parade of them.
And then a terrible thought occurred to her.
Given Nox’s kinky preferences, his bed might as well be a petri dish. How many women had shared it? And what had he done to them while they were in it?
I probably should’ve asked myself these questions, before I got in.
After decontamination, she hovered outside Zane’s bedroom door.
What are my options? The couch downstairs? These guys got up early. Chances are, she’d only get an hour of sleep before someone would wake her up.
There was only one real option left. Zane’s bedroom.
Her breath caught.
Inside, he was probably sprawled on his back. When he wasn’t drunk and in pain, did he sleep in pajamas? Or did he go commando?
Nope. No, don’t think about it. I don’t care.
This was a desperate set of circumstances. Surely, he wouldn’t mind sleeping beside her again. After all, he’d said he was in love with her. No big deal, right? She could sleep next to him, just platonic friends sharing a bed out of necessity. They could have the deep relationship talk later.
Riiiiiighhttt. Like she hadn’t fantasized about this.
Ellie had come up with all sorts of scenarios. She’d imagined waking up next to him, making love while sunlight filtered into the room. Or riding him in the middle of the night, head thrown back, grinding against him.
Okay, stop.
She stared at his door. Ellie wanted to sleep beside Zane. Plain and extremely complicated. It wasn’t simple at all.
Most likely, Ellie was facing several years in prison. Would she look back on this moment years later and regret not making a move?
Hell, yes.
No panty-stuffed beds or spider-infested blankets for me.
Carpe Fucking Diem.
Mind made up, she snuck into his room. Luckily her eyes had adjusted to the dark, so she could navigate her way to the mattress and not trip over anything. Bomber was curled up asleep on a rug, near the end of the bed, and he didn’t stir when she tiptoed passed him.
Zane had thrown off the covers, and she was treated to the site of his sculpted bare chest. He had a little trail of hair bisecting his abs, which disappeared beneath the waistband of his boxer briefs.
So, he doesn’t go commando.
For a moment, she drank in the sight of him. His hair was tousled and impossibly sexy. Her fingertips itched to run through it, as she was kissing him.
Biting the inside of her cheek, Ellie crawled in beside him and did her best to keep her hands to herself. But lying next to him and not touching Zane nearly killed her.
His scent flooded her senses, a luscious combination of pine, musk and man. She buried her nose in the pillow and inhaled.
Yeah. Must be those freakin’ pheromones.
Not to mention the way his mouth had felt on hers…
The chilled air settled over her, pebbled her nipples through the thin cotton of her borrowed t-shirt. She ran her palms over them, felt them tighten into two small, tight buds, simply begging for a mouth.
No, not just any mouth. Zane’s lips. Zane’s tongue.
Still, in the throes of sleep, he made a little noise in the back of his throat and rolled closer to her. She deliberately turned over and hugged a pillow to her chest, to keep from pulling Zane closer.
Unable to help herself, Ellie, ran her hands down her stomach, feeling the soft slope of her skin. Then down to her lower abdomen, brushing the top of her sex. The hair between her thighs felt wiry, thick. And beneath it, she felt soft and wet. Molten at the center. So very hot against the cool air.
This is wrong. I should get up and leave.
And yet she couldn’t move. What if he wakes up? Would Zane be upset with her? Or would he join her? Somehow, Ellie knew it would be that last one.
Instead, she circled her clit with the pad of her index finger, her legs shaking. It caused a jolt of pleasure each time she touched it. Ellie hadn’t made love in months. She’d been worried about paying the bills, afraid of what would happen to them if she lost her job.
Now, she had a new set of fears. Ellie needed some stress relief. A release.
Ellie ached inside, kept picturing Zane on top of her, finishing what she started. His big hands skillfully parting the lips of her pussy, delving between. And she imagined him stroking her until she begged him, begged him to enter her. She wanted him deep inside, the heavy weight of him on top of her, his cock inside her, joining them together.
Ellie stifled a moan.
I can’t do this. I have to stop.
If he woke up, how on earth would I explain crawling into bed with him and masturbating? It was too humiliating.
Stop. It.
She withdrew her hand, still aching. Unsatisfied.
Yet, she couldn't seem to shake it off—this attraction to him, this need.
Zane was never far from her thoughts. And now that she knew he cared for her, Ellie didn’t want to back off.
Ellie was through playing around. At the moment, she had nothing left to lose. Before they locked her up and threw away the key, Ellie deserved a little happiness.
One way or another, Zane was going to be hers.
At least for a little while.
***
Zane slowly woke up and a vision swam in front of him.
When he focused once more, Ellie was lying in bed, elbow propped up on a pillow, watching him with a wicked sort of delight. For a moment, he thought it was a hallucination, a mirage, but she was real.
He ran a hand down his face. “Ellie, what are you, uh, doin’ here?”
His voice sounded scratchy and hoarse, crackling like an old record, and he knew why, too. He was hard. Zane was used to morning wood, but this was insane.
His cock hurt. It was swollen, inflamed to a painful degree. He twisted on the bed, fluffing the covers around himself, trying to disguise it.
Ellie grinned, slow and wicked. “Watchin’ you.”
“Maybe I didn’t ask the right question.” His brain wasn’t quite working. Because all your blood is flowin’ south, dumbass. “Why are you here?”
She arched a fiery brow. “There was a spider in my bed.”
Okay, that made sense. “You hate those. Why didn’t you come get me? I would’ve killed it for you.”
“I know, but I didn’t want to wake you u
p, so I went to Nox’s room instead.”
“You did what?!” Zane sat up in bed. “You slept with him?”
Her eyes danced with mirth, and Zane realized he sounded like a jealous teenage boy. He felt like one, too. Zane hadn’t liked the way she’d watched his brother. Although, his envy was ridiculous. He’d already made up his mind and refused to take things further with her, so why did it get under his skin?
Because he didn’t want her to be with anybody else either.
It made him nauseous to think of her even touching another man. The first time around, when she’d hooked up with Dave, she’d moved out, and he hadn’t been forced to witness her fall in love with somebody else. Thank God, because it was torture.
Although, Ellie had said she’d done it to make him jealous. Mission accomplished.
“No, he spent last night somewhere else. So, I tried his bed out and it was very comfortable.” Ellie scrunched up her nose adorably. “Until I found a pair of used underwear.”
Zane winced, just imagining it. “Yuck. There’s no tellin’ what kind of fluids, are on his sheets. I wouldn’t touch them with a twenty-foot pole.”
“Yeah, I had the same realization, after I got into it.”
“So, you came here instead?”
“Yep, and I crawled in beside you.”
No wonder he’d woken up with what felt like a baseball bat between his thighs. And it hadn’t gone down either. It didn’t help that she had a bare shoulder begging to be kissed. And a wild tumble of curls framing her pretty face, he longed to run his fingers through. She wasn’t wearing any make-up, and no bra by the looks of things. Ellie looked as if she’d spent all night making love.
All he had to do was press her down on the bed, and he could be inside her in a matter of moments.
Dammit. Zane wanted her so badly, it hurt. He licked his suddenly dry lips. This is torture.
He should get the hell out of here, kill her spider, and pretend this never happened, but if he stood, Ellie would see his erection.
No doubt she’d already seen it.
Ugh. What a mess.
And they still hadn’t talked about his confession.
By the time he’d tucked her in, she’d been sound asleep in his arms, and he’d held her a few moments, cherishing the weight of her, wishing he could keep her like that forever. Instead, he’d kissed Ellie’s forehead and forced himself to go to his own room.